mandarin mandolins and imagined audiences
George Carlin
When I heard of his death, I started a romp around the internet to watch his videos. I guess I didn’t realize that the conductor from “Shining Time Station” (aka Thomas the Tank Engine) was so vulgar. Not that I don’t enjoy it, but it leaves me to ponder how exactly he landed the job. Someone saw his bit and decided he was right for a G rated childrens program on PBS?
Also, I found out he was the first ever celebrity host of SNL. A legend has passed.
Dead Hooker Removal Service
Would likely be more utilized then expected.
The previously mentioned “My Lonesome Cowboy” sculpture.
I would not want to be around when that thing went off.
If I only had money...
In May in New York City, a buyer spent $15.2 million at a Sotheby’s auction to acquire sculptor Takashi Murakami’s “My Lonesome Cowboy,” which is of a naked man holding his penis and creating a long, curly lasso out of his ejaculate.
That story is totally true and quite weird. Though, I think we have finally found an answer to the age old question, what to buy someone who has everything.
And apparently that answer is a semen lasso.
I have decided that there are no pickier Starbucks patrons, than people who work or have worked at Starbucks. Three examples of this theory are demonstrated below.
1. A girl came to the counter the other day and ordered a “Pumpkin Spice Latte”. I told her that the drink was seasonal, and she retorted by asking if there was anyway I could make it anyway and charge her for something else. I replied that the problem wasn’t our computer system, but that I had to supplies to make her drink. She then sighed and asked for a “Triple tall, 2 pump, non-fat, extra hot, no whip, cinnimon dolce latte.” I wanted to punch her for talking so much.
(I’m not much better though, in the following two examples, I ordered my custom drink, a “Double tall, 4 pump, easy water, chai tea latte.” This is what happened.)
2. The first time (as I watched my drink being extremely poorly made by some high school aged employee) I heard them say, “this is going to be gross”. I piped up by saying “It’s actually good.” Shut up Katie.
3. The second time, I had to mark the cup myself, because the employee was semi-incompatent, and afterwards they asked if I was sure if that was what I wanted, and told me that usually they don’t add espresso to a Chai Latte. Which I know. So I told him. And felt like and ass.
I need to quit, so I can stop being such a jerk to my fellow Starbuckers. I feel like I’m betraying them.
Plaser talent show in March.
I sang “Stay-Sugarland”
I was pleased with how it turned out. This picture that is.
Special thanks goes to my amazing guitarist Brian.
We were listening
- to the song "Goodbye Earl" earlier when the following conversation transpired.
- Danielle: Too bad we didn't actually do that.
- Katie: Do what?
- Danielle: Poison him and throw him in the lake.
- HIM in this scenario was not specified, however it is safe to guess she is not fond of "him".
Who schedules an exam
On Friday the 13th?
Obviously someone who wants to curse the students writing.
And if that person reads this, please take that criticism constructively and please don’t fail me for saying that.
Please.